deep reflection

Katrina is an old friend with whom I've only recently become re-acquainted with in this past month or so. If you read my blog, you will see she's been someone who comments in my blog on a regular basis, and is generally one of those cheery, wonderful people who anyone would be lucky to know. Putting it simply, she's lovely.

Her Father just passed away on September 1st.

I really never did get to know her father, and I haven't known Katrina for 5 years. I haven't felt any personal loss for her father being gone, as I never really knew him. I feel horrible for Katrina, this is the kind of pain you would never wish on anyone, even your worst enemy. It can never be rationalized, why someone can loose such an important person in their life, Our generation is taught that one should not loose a parent in your twenties, maybe in your forties or fifties one your own children are atleast teenagers. But NOT in your twenties when your life is just beginning. Although most of us by this age have already lost a grand parent, that would be normal.

While I haven't felt pain for this man gone from this world, I can't help thinking about how unfair it seems. I had brought it up to someone who suddenly reminded me that it really isn't that uncommon for someone to loose their father so early, and that if I thought about it I would think of some others. Unfortunately they were right. I have had 8 or 9 people come to mind of people who lost a parent in or before their early twenties. That was so scary. Katrina is not alone with this kind of grief in her life. And to me that is not a comforting thought; So many people have had to deal with this. and It seemed to up the chances of my own Fathers eventual passing.

It seemed like fate is one of those very chaotic things that doesn't make sense, Why would all these people loose someone so early, and I'm still lucky enough to have my dad? It made me suddenly feel more humbled. There was a time he risked the chance of a heart attack everyday, He is the last surviving and oldest of 4 children. All His siblings passed well before a reasonable age. My Father used to be incredibly obese, and somehow I nugged him onto a weight loss and exercise program to get him fit. He managed it ; but he had never quit smoking. I Haven't seen my father now in a few months, and thinking about Katrina and all my other friends who have lost their fathers made me miss mine more.

I know it doesn't seem fair that at this time I missed him so, and worried about him so. and I had the chance to phone him, where they didn't. I called him, I let him know what happened to Katrina, who he has a memory of her as a small child, I thanked him for following through on loosing his weight. I thanked him for taking care of himself I told him I loved him. And I told him, NOW more than ever I wanted him to quit smoking. He promised me he would. He agreed this is one of those things long over due. That he wasn't sure he could do it until he could see how close to mortality he could be at any time. That he never wants me to be feeling the kind of pain that Katrina is likely in. I Love my father. I know Katrina loved hers. Even if you didn't know her father or know her, I think her loss can serve as an important reminder that we should honor our parents. It's one of those things we forget to do, until we hear about something like this. Remember to tell them you love them, and always remember how important they are . You never really know when it is the last time you will be able to turn to them., give them a hug, and let them comfort you

Katrina, I really am deeply sorry for your loss. I Know I have no clue how you must feel. I Have no idea how I can be there for you, or help you ease your loss. If you need anything, please let me know. I send my love to you. Please know that I am here.


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This is my father, this picture has been taken after he has lost nearly140 lbs He was obese my whole life, until recent years, and I still have a hard time recognizing the new him.... And now he is going to quit smoking. I am so proud of him!




Love you Dad!